A Mother’s Journey Towards Self Love.
Love thyself they say.
You can love yourself, and still body shame yourself to death.
At 42, I still see me. I see my long ravenous hair, dark eyes, and curves. Through a messy journey I learned to embrace what makes me, me.
At 42, I see others with eyes of understanding, watching my sisters within the community thrive and rise through every size, and embrace the mothers through their jealousy of others, and self hatred, as they hide in the shadows with shame.
I now can softly whisper,
I’ve been there, and it’s dark, but love yourself, not only for the kiddos, but for the reminder of who you truly are.
Perhaps, It’s because I’m approaching the crone, no longer the maiden. Or perhaps through my husband and children’s eyes, I’ve become more beautiful, more radiant, more divine.
For now my motto is:
A journey into self love is a tricky one. And although a common hashtag, it comes with scars, and teeth that bite down, and rip into your very soul. The journey of self love is a spiritual one. It’s a soul communication between you, and it.
Something sacred that can transform.
A journey that you yourself will have to make… to be free, to see, and to accept your greatness as you are.
The first step is forgiveness.
Forgiveness around the ugly self-hatred filled speech, forgiveness for every time your body shaming kept you from living, seeing, feeling and experiencing.
Forgiveness towards yourself for not recognizing the greatness, the mother, the gorgeous, and goddess-like form that stands before the mirror.
Simply say to self, with the deepest of love:
With intention, and connection to the highest part of yourself.
A visualization that works for me, is when I focus on how much I love my son’s, and my husband, the enormous energy of it all.
Sensing what that feels like, looks like, even smells like, and bringing those sensations, and feelings, inwards towards myself. Enveloping me, soothing me, even bringing laughter in with that emotion.
Believe me, the tears will fall.
Only because you will recognize it. You will recognize that the power of ‘that’ love, is a gift you easily give others. It is that love, that feeling you create, that will be your own medicine. And sisters, we need a big dose!
Like I mentioned above, you can love yourself, and still body shame yourself to death. So,together let’s move away from the body shaming to the glamorizing at any size, and see ourselves the way our loved ones do.
Your body shaming may not be related to size, it could be emotional, it could be physical, it could be the scars and tears that remain. Whatever it is, you can let it go.
Our children need us to be healthy, in mind, body and soul, and reflect that wellness back to them.
Yes, I may no longer be a size 6. I’m a mother, and I love this body that birthed my sons. I transformed, and continue to transform, and love every moment of this metamorphosis. I may not fit into a box that others want me to reside, I may even make others uncomfortable with the choices I make as a mother, as a healer, and conscious business owner.
But what I do know now at 42, is that sacrifice is to make one sacred, and whatever nightmares that dwell within, can be replaced with gentleness, with tenderness, and a deep sexiness. My husband has loved me through it all, worshiped my once thin hips, now curved, and continues to build the fire within. Like I said, if we can visualize ourselves in the light that others do, the love will be the greatest love of all. Self love.
This body of mine serves others, in disaster relief, serving abroad, in midwifery, within my family, in my business, and in my community, as I build families outside of my family and within. Sisters of blood, and soul..
This heart, rises above. This soul, reaches to the sisters who self hate, who feel jealousy vs. gratitude towards that body who bore their children, or the child of another. Love thyself is a powerful statement, but a statement that can heal you.
With that said, heart to heart. I love you mama’s. So love thyself the way your babies do!
*Leave your story in the comment box. Where do you need support? or what has helped you thrive and love thyself?